


Embrace the Storm

by Wolfcry22



Series: The Exhausted Mind of Poe [12]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Anxiety, Coughing, Depression, Fever, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Poe Dameron Has PTSD, Poe Dameron Needs A Hug, Poe Dameron/Finn Fluff, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Protective Finn (Star Wars), Sickfic, Sneezing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-22
Updated: 2020-06-05
Packaged: 2021-03-03 04:21:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 7,036
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24328687
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wolfcry22/pseuds/Wolfcry22
Summary: Poe and Finn are still trying to deal with Poe’s increasing night terrors and flashbacks after TROS. However, when Poe becomes ill and his senses are even more on alert, how will Finn deal with a new unpredictable and emotional Poe Dameron?
Relationships: Poe Dameron/Finn
Series: The Exhausted Mind of Poe [12]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1605424
Comments: 10
Kudos: 55





	1. Awake to Help

**Author's Note:**

> This is a story that I wrote when I first started this verse and never got around to posting it. I finally found it so I thought now was as good a time as ever to post it. This takes place at the beginning of Poe’s journey right after TROS. This is just some harmless fluff that I hope will brighten your day. A little angst, but there are a lot of happy moments scattered within.

Finn was beyond relieved that Poe finally fell asleep a little before midnight. Sleep was the most challenging thing for   
Poe at the moment due to his increased night terrors and flashbacks that plagued his mind, especially while he slept. However, Finn had been able to convince Poe that nothing was going to happen to him as long as Finn was there beside him. Finn could chase off the demons, or so, Finn thought. 

He finally snuggled against Poe with his arms wrapped around the Resistance pilot. He closed his exhausted eyes and pressed his head into the back of Poe’s neck and began to drift off with the smell of Poe’s shampoo in his nose and the feel of Poe’s skin against his.

When Finn awoke, it was to a shift in the weight on the bed and his arms enclosed around nothing. Finn patted the spot that Poe had resided before snapping his head upward when he didn’t feel him. It wouldn’t be the first time that Poe had wandered due to one of his nightmares and flashbacks convincing him that Kylo Ren and the First Order were hot on his heels. They certainly didn’t need a repeat of that.

Finn straightened and instantly relaxed when he realized that Poe was still on the bed. He was sitting up on the side of the bed with his legs touching the floor as weak coughs shook his frame. Poe had lost a little weight since the final battle with his ribs showing under his skin. Finn did his best to remind Poe to eat when he was working himself to the ground, but evidently it didn’t always work. 

“Poe,” questioned Finn as he dragged himself forward in a sitting position behind Poe.

Poe turned his head slowly before his tired eyes met Finn’s. “Sorry,” he rasped, his voice almost completely shot. “I didn’t mean to wake you. I’ll try to be quieter.”

Finn shook his head as the sleep seemed to fade from him. “I don’t think that’s necessary. I’m awake now,” he pointed out as he lifted one hand to rub against Poe’s elbow. “Everything alright? Spit go down the wrong pipe?”

“I wish that was all that it was,” answered Poe with a snort of amusement. “Nah, I think that I’m getting sick.”

That was something that they hadn’t had to deal with yet. There had been too much going on for either of them to become ill. Now they would have to contend with not only a sick Poe, but an emotional Poe as well. Finn wasn’t complaining. He would do whatever it took to make things better for him. Finn just wasn’t quite sure how. 

Poe let out another cough that seemed to cause him to hunch forward. His fist was pressed against his mouth to catch each heavy expulsion of air. He struggled to catch his breath and he looked uncomfortable once he had. He glanced around fearfully in the dark room with his body going rigid.

Finn squeezed past Poe and reached out to turn on the lamp beside their bed. Poe’s face was illuminated by the yellow hue. Finn could see the slightly terrified expression on Poe’s face. Finn lifted a hand and rested it under Poe’s curly hair that slightly stuck to his sweaty forehead. He could feel the dry heat almost pulsing from Poe and he cursed himself for not realizing that Poe had a fever when the two of them had gone to bed.

Ever since the final battle, Poe had been struggling with nightmares and severe flashbacks. Any loud noise or sudden disruption could cause Poe to be mentally transported back into a terrifying fight. They had been working through it as much as possible and Finn was finally thinking that they had made at least a little progress. However, there was no saying how a fever would effect Poe.

“You’re warm,” Finn murmured as he removed his hand from under Poe’s bangs and then felt his cheeks with the back of his hand.

Poe instantly leaned into the touch. “Am I?” There seemed to be a faraway look in Poe’s eyes until they started to close as he leaned against Finn. 

Finn lowered his hands much to Poe’s distain. “Let’s see if we have anything for that.” He drew himself from behind Poe and landed gingerly on the ground. “BB-8, think you can help?” 

The orange and white droid instantly rolled forward and gave a beep of agreement. Finn still couldn’t speak binary, but he knew what BB-8 had meant. He nodded as he drew forward and headed into the fresher with the BB unit rolling behind him. 

Poe was left still sitting on the bed. He shivered thanks to the fever and gave a bleary sniffle. The coughing had released some of the congestion from his stuffed up nose and caused it to run. He hadn’t felt this awful when he had went to bed the night prior. He had come back from a walk and his throat had felt a little scratchy and dry, but he had assumed it was just because of how much talking he had been doing. Now he knew better. 

He let out another sniffle as he lifted his hand to rub at his slightly streaming nose. “Hey, here!” Poe glanced up as Finn returned with BB-8 right behind him. He had a box of tissues in one hand and some liquid medicine in the other. He set the liquid medicine down on the end table beside the bed before pulling out a few tissues from the box. He handed them over to Poe with an outstretched arm. Poe took them and wrapped them around his nose, giving a weak blow. He crushed the tissues into a ball as he gave a small cough, his eyes partially closing.

Finn set the box of tissues aside before pouring some of the liquid medicine into a tiny cup. “This stuff is old, but it does the trick better than any of those old Rebel injections,” Finn boasted as he came over to sit back down beside Poe. He handed the cup over with the almost radioactive orange medicine. “Take it down all once.”

Poe raised an eyebrow. “I have been sick before,” he reminded the former Stormtrooper with a hint of amusement in his eyes.

Embarrassment washed over Finn as he looked down at the ground to try and disguise his blush. “Er, right. I forgot,” he stammered. 

“I haven’t been sick with someone beside me in so long,” Poe continued as he looked to Finn. “The first one to even try to take care of me was my mother.” Just the mention of her caused emotion to well in Poe’s throat, almost causing it to close. “You remind me so much over her, Finn.” 

Finn looked up when he saw how conflicted Poe was. He instantly felt a tug in his chest as he reached out his hand and gripped Poe’s knee before giving it a reassuring squeeze. “I really wish I could’ve met her. From what you’ve told me, she sounds like a wonderful women and mother. She would’ve had to have spunk to to deal with you.” He leaned over and playfully hit his shoulder against Poe’s.

Poe forced a tiny laugh. “Yeah, she was. Not only did she have to deal with me, but she also had to deal with my father. She was incredible.”

Finn could hear the grief in Poe’s voice. Poe rarely spoke to Finn about his parents and upbringing. Finn was sure it had something to do with the fever that Poe was talking about it now. He wouldn’t willingly offer up this much personal information otherwise. Finn didn’t want to take advantage of it. He could bet that when Poe was less tired and more lucid, he would be slightly embarrassed of what he had told Finn.

“How about you take the medicine and we can go back to sleep? We can talk about this later,” Finn offered, knowing full well that the likelihood of them continuing this conversation was slim to none. Finn was willing to put his curiosity aside and respect Poe’s privacy at least until he was truly ready to tell Finn about his childhood. Finn would wait because that was what Poe deserved.

Poe muttered something that Finn couldn’t catch before throwing back the medicine like a shot. He shuddered at the taste before setting the empty cup aside. He coughed as the bitter liquid seemed to shift even more of the congestion and sent it almost leaking from his runny nose. 

“Alright, let’s get you back to-“ 

Finn trailed off as Poe’s breath started to hitch. Finn immediately grabbed another bundle of tissues and pressed them against Poe’s hand quickly. “Hih...huh....KtcShoo! KtchShoo! KtchShoo!” Poe blew his nose in the aftermath, but it did little good. His nose was too stuffed up.

“Bless you,” Finn whispered as he tucked a spring of Poe’s hair behind his ear from where it had fallen forward. He rubbed gingerly at Poe’s shoulders so not to startle him. “Are you alright?”

Poe crumpled the used tissues and set them on the nightstand. He struggled to clear his throat before nodding. “Fine,” he replied with as much conviction as he could muster.

Finn wasn’t so sure, but he couldn’t fight it. He could worry for the rest of the night about Poe, but Poe needed to get some sleep. Finn gingerly grasped at one of Poe’s cold hand and started to pull him back. Poe didn’t fight it as he leaned back and swung his legs onto the bed while Finn shifted beside him. He propped some pillows up for the both of them so that Poe could breathe easier. He settled Poe down before grasping the covers and brought them up to Poe’s chin to tuck him in to make him as warm as possible. Finn laid beside Poe to share his body heat.

Poe stayed where he was for a moment before shifting so that his head was rested on Finn’s chest. He could feel Finn’s strong heartbeat and his warm skin against his own. Finn wrapped his arm around Poe and the two were able to pretend that things were simpler. There was no war wounds or struggles for them to fight through. They could just relax for the time being. 

It wasn’t long before Poe fell into a heavy sleep. His mouth was slightly ajar since his nose was clogged as he let out some heavy snores. Finn’s eyes glowed in affection before he closed his eyes with his head tilted back as he drifted off into a heavy sleep.


	2. Fever Dreams

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finn sees firsthand how difficult it is to break through to Poe when he has a fever. The unfortunate dreams ensue.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had some extra time this weekend and thought I would try to finish this chapter. It’s a little shorter, but I’m going to try to make the next one longer. Hope you all enjoy!

“No, no, no, no, no, no, no.”

Finn woke up to the sound of heavy chattering. His blood went cold when he realized that Poe wasn’t sleeping on him like he had been when they first drifted off. Finn sat up with the lamp still on from before. He looked beside him to see that Poe was curled almost into a fetal position. His eyes were squeezed shut while his nose ran freely. His breathing wheezed in his chest and he rasped when he spoke.

“No, no! Please. Leave me alone! I won’t tell!”

Finn could tell that Poe was having one of his night terrors. He reached over and propped himself up to get a better glance at him. The best pilot in the Resistance had a pained expression on his face as sweat clung to his forehead and upper lip. His shirt was soaked through and his voice was all but gone. A sudden caterwaul seemed to leave his mouth while he twisted heavily into the bed.

“Hey, Poe,” started Finn as he lifted his hand and rested it on Poe’s shoulder. Finn could feel the heat from the fever and Finn tried not to flinch. He gave him a few firm shakes. “Poe, wake up. You’re having a nightmare.”

Suddenly, Poe’s eyes flew open. He recoiled from Finn’s touch and glanced up at Finn in terror. He leapt from his position on the bed and scurried away from Finn as quickly as possible. He glanced up at Finn while struggling to understand what was happening around him. 

He doesn’t know where he is, Finn thought as he drew forward and off the bed. He took one step forward and that was enough for Poe. 

Poe walked backwards quickly until he collided harshly with the wall. He let out a cry of terror before he lifted his hand to his ears and pressed his palms against them in alarm. “No, no, no! Let them go! Leave me alone,” he cried so loudly that it got Finn to stop in his tracks. 

Finn halted and stretched out his hands toward Poe while trying to stand firm. “Hey, hey, it’s me. It’s Finn. It’s me. I’m not going to hurt you, I promise.” 

“You’re not Finn,” Poe spat with his demeanor turning more irritable and less fearful. He still had his hands placed over his ears.

Finn blinked his eyes slowly. “I promise that it’s me. It’s Finn. I’m right here in front of you.” He paused briefly, forcing a smile on his face even though he was terrified. He had talked Poe down numerous times before in the middle of the night, but never quite like this when Poe’s senses were on high alert because of his illness. “Look at me in the eye. That way I can prove that I’m me.”

Poe whimpered as he lifted his eyes to Finn. It only lasted a moment as a cough bubbled from Poe’s lips. His head was slightly thrown forward as discomfort showed on his face. When the small fit was over, Poe was left still petrified as his body betrayed him. 

“Poe, you’re sick. You have a fever and I don’t think that you should be up and moving around. Please, let’s get you back to bed,” Finn requested as he slightly inched his front foot forward. Any sudden movement or large step would send Poe into hysterics, Finn knew, but he hoped that this would be alright. As long as Poe was hardly aware of Finn moving he should be able to tolerate it. 

Poe snuffled heavily and Finn saw his nose start to twitch. He dreaded to see how Poe would react when he sneezed if Poe’s reaction to his own coughing was anything to go on. 

Finn frowned as Poe’s head crushed forward against his chest. “KTchShoo! KthcSHoo! KtchSHoo! KtchSHoo!” Each one sounded more stuffy and painful than the last with the sound scraping from Poe’s throat. Poe lowered his hand and pressed the back of his wrist against his streaming nose.

“Bless you,” offered Finn softly. 

Poe blinked his eyes in realization as he glanced up at met Finn’s gaze. “F-Finn,” he stammered as his body slightly left the rigid position it held against the wall.

Relief sparked through Finn, but he knew he wasn’t out of the woods yet. He just had to keep Poe focused on him and where he was instead of what his mind wanted him to think. “Yes, it’s me. Just us, right here.” He then glanced down at BB-8, who had remained thankfully quiet. “And BB-8. It’s just us. You’re safe, in our room, on the Resistance Base.”

Poe rubbed his nose as dry as he could with his wrist. “It’s all fuzzy,” Poe mumbled in frustration.

“You’re sick,” Finn reminded him as if it wasn’t obvious. “It’s making things harder for you to focus, but you’re alright. I’m going to do all that I can to help you. Will you let me?” Finn had learned that it was always best to ask Poe questions like that instead of just telling him. They had dealt with plenty of instances of trial and error to see what worked best. There were numerous times that Finn would like to forget, but he wouldn’t change anything. He loved Poe and cared too much to let him suffer through this alone, especially when it wasn’t his fault.

It seemed to take a lifetime before Poe finally managed a small nod. “Y-Yes,” he rasped as exhaustion seemed to weigh on him. 

Finn’s shoulders slightly relaxed. He gave another brief pause before taking one step forward as quietly and cautiously as possible. 

Poe watched Finn lift his foot up, but they weren’t in their room. He gasped in alarm as he looked around and saw another Resistance fighter walking toward him only to have himself blown up into the air thanks to a First Order grenade. He couldn’t let that happen to Finn! 

“No,” Poe yowled as he surged forward and leaped. He plowed into Finn and knocked him aside.

The former Stormtrooper landed harshly on his back with Poe on top of him. Finn gasped in pain as Poe quickly crouched in front of Finn in an almost animalistic pose, his muscles rippling. He pressed his back against Finn, who was struggling to sit up as his lungs screeched in protest. Poe had one arm holding Finn back and another reached out in front of him. 

“They’re grenades everywhere,” he exclaimed. “Stay back!” 

It took a moment for Finn to register what Poe meant. He was still trying to catch his breath as he blinked his watery eyes. “What,” asked Finn as he tried to understand what was really going on around him. “What are you taking about?”

“Shut up,” snarled Poe as his gaze darted around fearfully. He gently lowered onto his hands and knees as he tried to keep himself low to the ground. His breathing was coming in panicked gasps that showed the true storm brewing in his mind. 

Finn thought back to about the research that he had done about grounding techniques. He knew that flashbacks could cause someone to lower down so that their body was close to the ground for protection. Poe hadn’t done that in a while. He preferred to stand and fight, but this was different. Finn had never had Poe lunge at him either, to protect him or not. He also hadn’t spoken about being afraid of Finn stepping on a grenade. This was all new to him and Finn didn’t know what to make out of it. 

“Poe,” Finn strained as he watched Poe seem to almost crawl forward.

Poe made no response that he heard Finn speaking to him. He dragged himself over to the corner before bringing his arms up to cover his head protectively. Finn recalled the motion was used to protect one’s head from injury, especially from things that were flying through the air. His mind tried to put together what he knew of this new flashback and how Poe was acting. 

Poe was scared of grenades hidden on the floor. 

Poe had crawled through enemy lines while trying to protect Finn.

Poe was crouched on the ground in an attempt to guard his head and now he was terrified to move.

None of what Finn knew was going to help Poe. He was going to have to get even more experimental to help Poe, especially with him being sick. This was going to be more trying than most of his flashbacks for numerous reasons. This was a new flashback, Poe was ill, and even more petrified than before. 

This was going to be more of a challenge than Finn originally thought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things are going to get interesting! This was a fun part to right with a lot more suffering Poe and a protective Finn. While still having flashbacks and terrors, it’s a little lighter. A sick Poe is an emotional Poe and that’s a theme that will continue through the rest of the story. Hope you guys liked this part and continue to enjoy this story!


	3. Breaking Through

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finn pulls out every trick in the book to pull Poe back to him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a part of harmless fluff since I may have indulged in writing. It’ll pick back up again, but it can’t hurt to have Finn really care for Poe when he’s at his worst, right?

Finn crawled toward Poe, slowly. He hadn’t made it far when BB-8 rolled forward and nudged his hip. Finn nearly jumped out of his skin when he looked back to BB-8. 

“Go and get a wet rag. We need to cool him down,” requested Finn to the little droid, trying to keep the nervousness from his voice.

BB-8 seemed relieved to be told to do something. He rolled toward the fresher while Finn continued toward Poe. Poe was still hunkered down with his arms over his head. Finn could hear soft whimpers rising from him as he pressed against the corner of the room. Poe’s legs slightly sprawled from under him as tiredness made him unfocused.

“Poe, Poe, you need to listen to me. I just want to help. It’s alright,” Finn chided as he finally managed to bring himself over to Poe’s side. 

Poe said nothing as he continued to tuck himself against the wall. His hands slightly drifted downward before his head crashed into the wall with a sickening crunch. 

This wasn’t the first time that Poe had turned violent to himself. He would hit his head on the wall or claw at his arms with his nails. It wasn’t unusual and Finn was ready for it. The only difference was that he was a lot more forceful when snapping his skull against the wall than he ever had been before.

“Poe,” Finn began as he clustered to Poe’s side, by the base of his head. Poe didn’t let up repeatedly colliding his head against the wall. “Poe!”

Poe didn’t slow. Finn tried not to be frustrated as he stretched out his hand and pressed it against the wall, palm up, where Poe was hitting his head against. Poe tried to repeat the process, but Finn’s hand softened the blow too much for Poe’s need to be satisfied. Poe moaned in anger as he managed to lift his dark gaze to Finn. 

“They’re coming,” he wheezed with his eyes squeezed shut to block everything out. 

Finn removed his hand from the wall before he lowered down in front of Poe. He felt his back strain with the effort and he was sure that he was going to pay for this later thanks to his prior injury with Kylo Ren. “Poe, Poe, look at me.” Finn was crouched so close to him that his head almost touched Poe’s. He couldn’t touch him, not yet, but he could at least let Poe know that he was there. 

“Poe,” continued Finn when Poe had finally stopped whimpering. “Poe, I’m right here in front of you and I need you to look at me.” 

Poe shifted and Finn realized that he was listening to him. Finn couldn’t help but smile as he stretched out his hands and grasped Poe’s hands in his own. He started to pull at Poe’s hands gingerly as he tried to pry them away from his head. Poe’s hands were red from the force of which he had been pressing against his skull. Finn struggled to hold him steady as Poe’s hands fought to be brought back to his ears. Finn didn’t want to physically restrain him, but he had to break through to him. Sometimes that required that he be a little more aggressive than usual. 

Clearly Poe wasn’t going to hold his gaze, so Finn had to try something else. “I need you to breathe as deeply as you can. Feel the hard ground under you and the wall beside you. You’re in our room on the Resistance Base. You’re not back in the war. It ended. You’re with me. You’re safe.” 

Finn couldn’t tell if Poe was listening to him to not. He was just about to try something else when Poe cautiously looked up to him. His eyes were troubled, but showed a bit of the usual likeness that Poe possessed. Finn could see his usual determination and spunk somewhere inside. He just needed to find a way to bring it out. “Fidn,” Poe questioned, his voice so congested that Finn could barely make it out. 

Finn gave a small nod. “Yeah, man, it’s me. I’m right here. It’s me.” He gave Poe’s hands a gentle squeeze before lifting one hand to plant a small kiss on it. 

Poe gave a slight hacking cough with his head aimed at the floor. Finn could see how painful it seemed to be for Poe and he quickly started to lift him up. “Up, up,” instructed Finn as gently as possible. 

Poe, still coughing, managed to bring himself into a painful sitting position. Finn quickly bundled Poe into his strong arms and pulled Poe toward him as Finn sat down with his back against the wall. Poe was pressed close against him as he rested his head on Finn’s chest where he could hear his strong heartbeat. 

And then, Poe Dameron, leader of the Resistance, started to sob.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chronologically this story comes before many of my others, so this is one of the first times that Finn sees Poe truly break down. I hope you all enjoy and are staying healthy and safe!


	4. What Is Known

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finn does his best to help Poe through the thoughts in his mind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some more harmless fluff since I can’t seem to get it out of my head. I love Finn trying to hep Poe in anyway possible even when Poe isn’t quite sure what he needs, so I hope that I was able to translate that into writing.

The sob that left Poe sliced right down to Finn’s heart. He felt his own throat seem to close in emotion as Poe gripped his tank top tightly as he sobbed into his chest. The crying was punctuated with frantic wails that caused the hairs on the back of Finn’s neck to stand on end. He was thankful that the walls were soundproof since he didn’t need anyone checking up on them at the moment. This would be difficult to explain. 

Eventually, Poe’s sobs started to die down. Finn hadn’t dared speak during that time. He needed Poe to come around on his own. He needed to just be the support that Poe needed. It was always best to let Poe steer any and all conversation as well. Normally Finn wouldn’t touch him either, but this was a special circumstance. 

Just when they were starting to get comfortable, BB-8 rolled back into view. He held a wrung out rag in his tiny mechanical claw, outstretched as he offered it toward Finn. Finn remembered asking him for it and he brightened as he stretched out his hand and took it. “Great, thanks!” 

BB-8 gave a few chirps before rolling slightly backwards, waiting patiently for anymore instruction from Finn. Finn didn’t necessarily have one at the moment.

Finn took the washcloth and lifted it to Poe’s brow. He gingerly brushed some of Poe’s hair aside before starting to wash his face with the cool cloth in an attempt to calm him and lower his fever. He could feel how warm Poe was against him, despite how much the man was shivering against him. He longed to be able to do anything else for him, but right now all that he knew that he could was help Poe in this simple way in an attempt to keep him grounded.

Finn hadn’t been able to bathe Poe’s forehead long before he tried to bring himself away from the touch. Finn knew that some feeling of certain fabrics brought back horrible memories for him. They had special sheets on their bed since any typical Resistant blanket reminded Poe of all those failed missions where he would curl into a ball and pray for the light of the next morning. However, Finn wasn’t quite sure what the rag could be doing. After all, they had used rags before. 

Poe suddenly stiffened as his head fell toward Finn’s chest. “KtchSHoo! KtcSHoo! KtchsSHoo! KtchSHoo!”

Finn felt the slight warm and damp misting against his shirt. He knew that he should’ve been disgusted, but it barely registered. He was about to ask BB-8 if he could grab the box of tissues from earlier, but the orange and white droid was already on it. 

He had grabbed them and had rolled back before Finn could even request it. He handed it off to Finn and Finn took it gratefully. “Thanks, buddy,” Finn told BB-8 as he set the box down and pulled out three tissues with one hand with his arm was wrapped around Poe. He lifted the tissues and quickly cleaned up the mess under Poe’s nose as quickly as possible. He didn’t want to cause him anymore embarrassment.

“Bless you,” Finn offered. Once he had finished, he set the tissues aside. He would worry about that later.

Poe let out a heavy sniffle, but didn’t speak. To Finn, Poe still seemed spooked. Finn didn’t want to comment on it and risk making it worse. He tried to ignore the slight discomfort he felt while being pressed against the wall and in the same position. His left leg had fallen asleep a while ago and he was a little cold sitting on the cement ground. He longed to move, yet he knew he wouldn’t do so until Poe was ready. 

After what felt like a lifetime, Poe swallowed thickly and licked his lip before speaking. “Fidn,” he questioned in an almost croak.

Relief washed over Finn before he nodded vigorously. “Yeah, Poe. It’s me. I’m right here,” he reassured as he arched his neck slightly forward to try and meet Poe’s eyes.

They were bloodshot from crying; although they didn’t seem as haunted. “D-Did I hurdt you,” Poe questioned fearfully.

Finn shook his head quickly. It broke his heart to hear Poe ask that, but he knew why. One of the first times Poe had had a flashback had been the worst. He had woke up in terror and had thought that he was back in one of his jail cells about to be interrogated on. He had rolled over to see Finn laying beside him and hadn’t recognized him. Immediately, Poe had gotten on top of Finn and had started to choke him. Finn had woken up in alarm and his First Order training had immediately kicked in for him to throw Poe off of him. That was the first time that Finn had realized that something was really wrong with the man that he loved. 

“You didn’t hurt me,” Finn reassured softly. “Not at all. You scared me a little bit, but hurt me, no? Are you hurt?”

Poe shifted uncomfortably while still keeping himself almost on top of Finn. “Just sore. My bones hurdt,” he complained. 

BB-8 gave a few beeps as he rolled in front of Poe. Finn mentally cursed himself for, once again, failing to understand what BB-8 was saying.

“I guess id is the fever,” Poe rasped in agreement with the little droid.

“Which is why we really need to lower it,” Finn pointed out gruffly. He realized he had no idea how to even go about it besides keeping Poe cool with the wet rag and the medication that he had already given him. The Resistance Base didn’t have much when it came to treatments for mild illness. Injury was a different story, but no one thought that any type of illness was going to take them down while injuries were more inevitable in war zone. 

Poe blinked his eyes slowly. “I’d fide.”

“Yeah, okay. If you could actually say ‘fine’ correctly, then I might believe you.” He lifted a hand and continued to sponge Poe’s face gingerly with the rag, despite Poe’s efforts to pull himself away. It only took a few more times for Poe to relax into the gentle motions of what Finn was doing as his eyes began to close. 

Finn gave Poe a gentle nudge. “Hey, you can sleep, but not on the floor. Do you think that we can move this to the bed?”

Poe took a moment of consideration. Finn was half expecting Poe to disagree with him, but he eventually nodded. “A-Alright,” he stammered, albeit reluctantly.

Before they moved, Finn knew that he had figure out what was going on in Poe’s mind. It was a potentially dangerous place to be. Finn knew that Poe knew that. Yet, that was what Finn needed to do. He had to know where Poe’s mind was at the moment. 

“What’s going on inside that head of yours,” Finn questioned gently as he leaned forward and planted a kiss on top of Poe’s head.

Poe struggled not to recoil from Finn’s touch. “You dnodn’t wandt to dknow,” Poe argued sharply as a shiver passed through his body.

Finn didn’t want this to cause another panic attack or flashback if he pressed Poe too hard. He also knew that Poe had to talk through it at least a little or he would wake up the next hour with the same problem. It was difficult, Finn knew, but also important. “Of course I want to know. I want to know whatever you’re thinking or feeling. You don’t have to worry about scaring me away. I’m not going anywhere.” 

“Probise,” asked Poe after a moment. He tilted his head upward fearfully to Finn.

Finn lowered his head slightly down and pressed his forehead against Poe’s. “I promise. You can tell me anything and I will be here to listen and help you make sense of it if you can’t. I love you, Poe. Nothing can or will ever change that.”

Poe sucked in a heavy breath before it turned into a ragged cough. He struggled to compose himself as he lifted his hand to rub under his nose. “Whadt do you wandt to dknow?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There will be one more part after this one and I promise it ends well after all of this angst and fluff. I hope you all enjoyed this part and are staying safe!


	5. History of Violence

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Poe finally begins to explain to Finn what he’s been through.

“Whadt do you wandt to dknow?” 

“Whatever you’re willing to tell me,” replied Finn gently. He could tell they were making some headway. 

Poe sighed heavily as he lifted a finger to rub at his slightly watery eyes. He gave a liquid sniff before reaching for the box of tissues. He brought them up to his face and blew his nose almost painfully. He rubbed his nostrils dry before speaking. 

“I-I was on this planet. I forget the name of it, but it was a rock planet. There were so many holes and crevices on the surface and it was difficult to see where the First Order was. I was l-leading the stealth mission with five other Resistance fighters......” He started to trail off as his throat seemed to close in emotion. 

Finn grasped one of Poe’s hands and gave it a squeeze, urging him on.

“The third fighter from the back, Leela, stepped on a grenade that shot her into the sky. She was a mother and a wife. She had two young children who will never know who she was and how brave she was.” He was talking quickly now as he tried to tell the story before the emotion became too much. “Then, so many First Order Stormtroopers appeared. We were outnumbered and only two of us made it out. I guess that’s where my mind took me to.”

Finn could only imagine how difficult that was for Poe. He longed to have been there to protect him. However, the damage was already done. There was nothing that Finn could do about it now besides just be there for Poe.

“Whatever happened wasn’t your fault. You couldn’t control what happened,” Finn reminded him.

Poe grimaced. “Yeah, now it’s just my messed up brain that I have to heh...huh.....fight with. KtchSHoo!” Poe managed to turn away and press his nose into his raised wrist. “KtchsSHoo! KtchsSHoo!” He snuffled heavily in the aftermath with Finn handing him a few more tissues. 

“Bless you,” Finn told him.

BB-8 let out a chirp that sounded similar to Finn’s sentiment. 

Poe nodded to them before blowing his nose. He rubbed them against the underside before crumpling them into a ball in his fist. “Ugh, or the cold in nose I suppose.” 

Finn chuckled. “Those are two very inconvenient things, but it doesn’t make me love you any less.” He leaned down to give Poe a kiss on the lips, but Poe immediately turned away from him. 

“What are you doing,” Poe cried. “I’m sick!”

Finn rolled his eyes. “I would’ve caught it by now if I was going to.” He chuckled as Poe slightly gave in as he turned his head slightly. Finn decided that it was best just to compromise as he leaned over and kissed Poe’s cheek. The stubble along Poe’s jaw tickled his lips and he couldn’t help but smile. 

Poe turned away to cough painfully while sniffling at his nose streamed. He struggled to finally compose himself and Finn could tell how tired Poe was. He couldn’t blame him. He was sick, on edge, and had just come out of a very frightening flashback. That wasn’t a great combination to have. 

“Alright, let’s get you to bed,” offered Finn as he started to stand with Poe doing the same. 

Poe’s legs were weak and wobbly, so Finn ended up taking most of his weight as he leaned heavily against him. Finn wrapped an arm around Poe’s waist and held him close while BB-8 picked up the rag and tissue box to follow them. 

Finn half led, half carried Poe over to their bed. He was cautious to even think about going to bed, but he knew that he couldn’t keep Poe up all night. He knew that Poe needed sleep to fight off whatever this was. 

“I dodn’t dknow i-if I should sleep,” Poe stammered as he dug his heels in right beside the bed. 

Finn nodded slowly. “I understand, but we can do this together. I’m not going to let anything happen to you.”

Poe, his eyes aglow with fever, gave a heavy sigh. “I jusdt dond’t wandt to hurdt you again, or ever. I’b afraidt...” He snuffled heavily, but it did nothing for his stuffiness. 

It was one of the first times that Poe had verbally confessed how scared he was. It was difficult to hear him sound so defeated, especially being the General of the Resistance. But, Finn knew that they could get through it, just as they always had.

“You’re not going to get rid of me that easy. I know that you’re not going to hurt me. Besides, I think that I can take you,” he pointed out as he nudged his elbow against Poe’s shoulder teasingly. “Come on.”

Finn climbed onto the bed and waited for Poe to fall in beside him. The General climbed onto the space beside Finn as Finn tried to pull the covers down to give room for Poe. Finn helped Poe scoot closer to him while grabbing the tissues and rag from BB-8 so that he wouldn’t have to leave the bed again. 

While Finn was trying to get Poe to sit up, his lungs seemed to have a different idea. He coughed into a raised fist before it turned into an almost painful gag that scraped the back of his throat. His eyes were squeezed shut as tears leaked from them. BB-8 gave a terrified series of beeps that weren’t helping the station.

“Sit up. Sit up,” instructed Finn quickly as he reached under Poe’s arm before helping him sit up beside him. 

Only then did the coughing begin to ease. Poe still seemed drained from his body’s attempt to expel whatever virus was inside of him. It left him sweating even more and with a hand at his chest, almost clutching his shirt. His head gave a small roll toward Finn. “This sucks.” 

“I know,” chided Finn as he stretched out his hand and brushed a few stray strands of curly hair from Poe’s forehead. “But, you’re going to make it through this. It’s just another thing we have to work through.” 

“Where would I be without you,” wheezed Poe as a single tear rolled down his cheek. 

Finn immediately stretched out his hand and wiped it away with his thumb. “Where would I be without you? It certainly goes both ways if you ask me.”

Poe gave a dejected sniff. “I’n dnot so sure aboudt thadt,” he protested. 

Finn hated to hear Poe speak so negatively about himself. He was beginning to realize it was something they would continue to work on. 

Poe’s continuing sniffling brought Finn from his own mind. He managed to pick out a few tissues from the box and handed them over to Poe. Poe brought them up to his nose and gave a weak blow. It only succeeded in spreading the lingering tickle to a completely desperate need. He pulled the tissues slightly away from his face while he waited with his eyes watering, mouth slightly gaped open, and breath beginning to hitch. Finn thought that it was adorable, but he assumed that Poe wouldn’t see it the same way.

Eventually, his body gave him the relief that he so desperately craved. “KtchSHoo!” The fist one caused him to snap forward with the pillow falling from behind him as he leaned forward. “KtchsSHoo! KtchSHoo! KTchsSHoo.” The three tumbled from him before giving him a brief pause. “KtchsSHoo!” 

“Bless you,” exclaimed Finn at the desperate onslaught of sneezes that seemed to be forced from him.

Poe replaced the tissues in his hand with fresh ones. He wiped the undersides of his nostrils before giving his nose a productive and lingering blow. He set them on the nightstand before leaning back as Finn tried to adjust the pillow again. Poe pinched the bridge of his nose in discomfort as he felt the tickle still lingering there.

“You alright,” Finn fretted. 

Poe slightly rolled his head over to his boyfriend. “Jusdt paind in by sinuses,” Poe confessed as he stared up at the ceiling. “I’b prone to sidus infectdions.”

Finn had never had one, but he could only assume how uncomfortable they were, which may have had a hand in as to why Poe struggled with his flashbacks. Any congestion could cause balance issues and that could make Poe feel even more on edge.

“Tomorrow we’ll take you to a medical droid, just to make sure it’s not more serious. For now, let’s just get some sleep.” Finn was struggling to keep his eyes open. 

Poe seemed to be just as tired as Finn. Poe nodded as he leaned his head back against the pillow. Finn was relieved as he scooted as close to Poe as possible with Poe immediately leaning on Finn with his head on his shoulder.

“I’m sorry that you have to go through this, Poe. You shouldn’t have to, but you’re certainly not alone. I’m not going to leave you,” Finn told him softly as he leaned over to press a kiss on top of Poe’s head.

Poe murmured something that Finn couldn’t catch. However, Finn knew that Poe was appreciative. Finn was relieved when he heard Poe’s breathing being to slow. Finn would’ve liked to see talking, but he knew that they would have plenty of time for that later. 

“Get some rest, Poe. I promise that everything will look up in the morning.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here is the end to another part of Poe’s story. I couldn’t stop the fluff at the end. I’m a sucker for it these days. This story certainly wasn’t as serious as my others, but I thought something just a little bit lighter would be nice to show before I go dark again. I hope that you guys enjoyed this story and are staying safe and healthy!

**Author's Note:**

> Poe and Finn being cute together is one of the best things to write. I hope you all enjoyed this part and like the next part just as much. Stay safe!


End file.
